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A Jewish Wedding (Terminology)
Written with love by Tammy
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In a traditional Jewish wedding, the affair begins with kabbalat panim (greeting the bride and groom). The guests separately wish Rebecca and Scott well during their last unmarried moments. Rebecca greets her guests from a "royal" chair seated next to her mother and future mother in-law. Scott greets his guests in a separate room at the groom's tisch (table), where he and his friends and family drink l'chaims (toasts) to the future happiness of the couple. All along food abounds, as it is customary to have a cocktail like affair before the ceremony rather than after.
During this time will be the signing of the ketubah, or marriage contract. Though the text of the ketubah is written in Aramaic and based on ancient rabbinic law, it is quite a revolutionary document, outlining a husband's obligations towards his wife, including not only his moral and legal responsibilities towards her, but even her clothing and conjugal rights. After Scott indicates his acceptance of the contract, two witnesses will sign the contract.
Then will come one of the most beautiful and unique parts of the traditional Jewish wedding - the bedeken, or veiling of the bride. There are many explanations for this ritual - ranging from a desire to keep Scott from being tricked into marrying the wrong woman as the patriarch Jacob was, to a symbolic representation of the spiritual idea that Scott is marrying Rebecca not for her outer beauty, but for her inner qualities - but regardless, the joy of the moment when the bride and groom see each other for the first time after the separation before the wedding is truly wonderful to behold. With their friends and family singing and dancing around them, Rebecca and Scott will surely share a tender moment before he veils her. Afterwards, both sets of parents will bless the couple.
Finally, Scott and Rebecca will be led to the chupah, or wedding canopy, by their parents. The chupah, one of the more widely known of the Jewish wedding customs, symbolizes the home Scott and Rebecca will build together. When Rebecca reaches the canopy where Scott will be waiting for her, she will circle him seven times. Again, the explanations for this ritual range from the Biblical (see, for example, Jeremiah 31:21, where the prophet says that a woman encompasses and protects a man) to the symbolic (the seven circles parallel the seven days of creation).
Believe it or not, only now will it be time for Rebecca and Scott to get engaged. During this first part of the wedding ceremony, kiddushin, the officiating rabbi will recite two blessings over a cup of wine, from which Rebecca and Scott will both sip. The engagement will be finalized when Scott presents Rebecca with her wedding ring. Two witnesses will affirm that the ring meets the minimum worth stipulated by the Talmud. Then, the ketubah will be read aloud.
In ancient times a separation of a year separated kiddushin, the engagement ceremony just completed, from nissuin, the marriage ceremony, but fortunately for guests anxious to get to the dancing, nissuin follows immediately in modern Jewish weddings. The sheva brachot, or seven marriage blessings, will be recited over a second cup of wine, each one by someone beloved to the couple. Rebecca and Scott will then drink from this cup of wine.
The wedding ceremony will conclude with the commemoration of Jerusalem by singing the verse "If I forget thee, O Jerusalem . . ." from Psalm 137. Given the current situation in Israel and especially Jerusalem, this reminder is all the more solemn and urgent. In another well-known, traditional gesture, Scott will break a glass as a last sign of mourning over Jerusalem, and all of the guests will shout, "Mazel tov!" and erupt into song and dance. They will escort the newlyweds into yichud, or seclusion, where they will spend the first moments of their married life together privately.
When Scott and Rebecca emerge, friends and family encircle and dance with them. The dancing at traditional Jewish weddings is always very energetic, in part due to the traditional mitzvah (obligation) to rejoice with the bride and groom. Afterwards, the seudat mitzvah, or wedding feast, will begin with motzi, the blessing over bread, and conclude many hours and dances later, with another recitation of the sheva brachot.
Most importantly, friends and family are what make the simcha (joyous celebration) - and all sorts of special traditions are brought by those loved ones that attend.
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"In our life there is a single color, as on an artist's palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love."
- Marc Chagall
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